Drama Rant: Code Blue (Fuji TV, 2008)
by Ender’s Girl
Yamashita Tomohisa, Aragaki Yui, Toda Erika, Higa Manami, Asari Yosuke, Yanagiba Toshiro
In a Nutshell:
Kids in a chopper! Saving lives! Losing patients! Getting shouted at by their superiors! Feeling discouraged, wanting to quit! Blood and drama, sweat and tears! Hospital tension running high! Can they successfully complete their training before my brain has fully atrophied? Do I look like I care???
Disclaimer: This is NOT a review. All pretense to objectivity has been chucked out the (helicopter) window. This is more like… a rant with a mission!
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! You have four children who play doctors, who play children, who play… (you guessed it!) doctors!!! How come nobody thought of this before??? Durrrrr….. Oh man, I’d rather stick a syringe in my eye than watch this drama all over again. Oh, yeahhh, suuure, Code Blue is a medical drama alright — because you get a frikkin’ lobotomy watching the first episode alone. Then you can be as brain-dead as YamaPi & Co. Everybody. Happy.
It doesn’t speak well of a drama if the ONE GOOD highlight from all eleven episodes is that shot of YamaPi in the locker room, 20 seconds into Episode Bloody One. Where YamaPi, M.D. gives us a lesson in… Human Anatomy, yesss? The camera inexorably pans upward to show a ridiculously buff torso channeling… Enter the Dragon! *gonnngggg!!!!* (Oh-ho-ho, YammmaPiiii…. you nearly gave me a myocardial infarction right there, you naughty, naughty boy! Looks like *someone’s* been trying to… overcompensate for all that non-acting they’ve been doing lately, ehhh?) Okay, pop quiz, YamaPi, where are your… rectus abdominis? (There they are!!!) Very good, YamaPi! Now, point to your… pectoralis major!!! Verrrryyyy gooood, YamaPi! Another gold star for you! LAWWWL.
I’m appending a more sanitized… anatomical diagram (for instructional purposes, yes?). Can you point to his deltoids and latissimus dorsi? Heh heh.
But–uh-oh, uh-oh, looks like YamaPi overdid all those bench press workouts! Somebody killed the REAL YamaPi and put this… Rambo dude in his place (with dark, curly hair to match, eeep!)!!! Rambo-YamaPi shows everyone how to do a Particularly Risky Surgical Procedure — on his first day on the job!!! Wow. It’s Rambo with a stethoscope! Rambo in scrubs! Rambo rides the skies in a chopper, swooping down to earth to amputate the limbs and vivisect the bodies of his patients! But Rambo can show No!Emotion! — other than clenching his fists, and clenching his… torso muscles! (Hahahaha) He looks convincing enough as a doctor here — SO CONVINCING I wouldn’t let him stitch me up even if I was bleeding to death…
Apparently, each episode in this drama is subtitled, “Who Will Get to Ride the Doctor Heli Today?” So the senior doctors go around saying stuff like, “You put the poor schmuck’s kidneys back all wrong!” *hospital staff give collective gasp of horror* “Bad doctor! Bad doctor! No more chopper rides for you this week!!!” And so it goes for ten. More. Episodesssss……
Yurghghrrrghh… Someone hit me with the defribrillibrilator…
Artistic & technical merit: C+
Entertainment value: D