To KimuTaku on His 37th Year

“I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum…
Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum…”

– E.G., The Little Dorama Girl

(Netizens: “Nuoooooooo!!!!!!”)

(Ha! Too late.)

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[Disclaimer: I stopped writing poetry when I was twelve, and it’s (painfully) obvious from reading this that I’ve picked up EXACTLY where I left off… hahahahaha]

O, KimuTaku, you’re cooler than cool!
Over my heart’s domain, uncontested you rule.
You’re the lone cherry blossom floating in my cesspool!
My Chrysanthemum Throne is your humble footstool.

Each second my heart burns up one kilojoule,
And your voice alone triggers a Pavlovian drool!
In the day I’m reduced to a gibbering fool…
Nights find me restless, a wandering ghoul.

(Toadstool! Whirlpool!)
How I wish I could download you on eMule…

***

I know that I’m just being obtuse,
But when I don’t see you, I get the blues…
So I try to drown all my emptiness in booze,
Till I turn five different shades of chartreuse!

But babe, you’ve left my Engine running loose!
Only you light my fire, and ignite my fuse.
My pulse keeps racing like a mad mongoose!
Your smile alone can derail my… caboose.

(Netizens: “We’re not amused! Report abuse!”)
So to go any further, I must sadly refuse.

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But the second Johnny puts you up on eBay,
I’ll be first in line—I promise I’ll pay!
Quit my job pronto! and take a Long Vacay,
Bring you home to enjoy for a year and a day!

Well, maybe a bit longer… is a decade okay?
I’ll read you “A Rose for Emily” every single day,
Then we’ll act out the story—just like a play!
Oh, what great fun we’ll have! Whadd’ya say?

(eBay! D-Day!)
Oh, you got NO idea what I’m willing to pay…

***

You seem to have it all, with the kids and the wife:
Sure sounds a lot like a Beautiful Life.
The knowledge you’re taken—it cuts like a knife!
*E.G. starts playing a sad tune on her fife*

Beware: my obsessions have a long shelf life!
But I’ll try to be patient, and avoid causing strife.
Loving you from a distance will have to suffice…
(But I got first dibs on you in the Afterlife!)

(Netizens: “Lowlife! Get a life!”)
Yep, ‘bout time chumps like me went and got a life.

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In 2046 you were just that guy,
With the funny little mustache and hair all awry,
Who fell in love with a droid and did nothing but sigh
On a train ride to nowhere, through a futuristic sky.

Back then I had eyes just for Tony Leung Chiu Wai,
But now we all know that’s a BIG FAT LIE!!!
Feelings can change in a twinkle of an eye,
When a lightning bolt hits you with a spell: STUPEFY!

(Banzai! Wong Kar Wai!)
From now on, you’ll never be “just that guy.”

***

Who can forget you in Change? Impossible to,
Sporting that fried orange “Japfro” hairdo.
From schoolteacher, to lawmaker, then on to—who?
That’s Prime Minister Asakura-san for you!

Mr. Brain , Kuryu Kohei—unlikely heroes, too.
(Is it really that hard to bid these roles adieu?)
But I still wish you’d do more ren’ai renzoku,
‘Coz nobody plays Romantic Lead better than you!

(Renzoku! Sudoku!)
I still think that hair’s always been your Waterloo…

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Pride was an experience SO incredibly intense!
As you sped around the ice rink, my life was changed thence.
Those romantic twists left me breathless with suspense!
You had me at “Halu”—I’ll make no pretense.

Saying “maybe” every sentence—that hardly made sense!
But your looks and charisma did more than recompense.
“I was born to love you baby,” it’s divine Providence!
When that coffeepot fell over—well, there went my innocence!

(Offense! Defense!)
For your Blue Scorpions jersey, I’ll sell my bro for sixpence…

***

You and Matsu became, in Love Generation,
The “Golden Combi” of the entire Nihonjin Nation.
That amazing chemistry—oh, sweet intoxication!
Each kiss you shared took us to a higher elevation!

Broke our little shipper hearts, your platonic situation,
Though every now and then, we do a li’l commemoration
Of the love you could’ve shared with a bit more… stimulation.
(Maybe all those feelings are just… in hibernation?)

(Kudo Shizuka: “Tarnation! I’ll sue for defamation!”)
Oh, we know Teppei loves Riiko—that needs no validation.

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So, happy birthday KimuTaku, I hope you have a blast.
Enjoy your moment now, for we all know it won’t last.
Stardom fades, people forget, good looks desert you fast,
Even that impressive career will later be surpassed.

Be kind to people (including your fans!), for when all this is past,
What matters won’t be all the fame, or fortune you amassed,
But how you’ll be remembered when your flag flies at half-mast.
A life lived with Love and Honor can never be outclassed.

Best wishes (and sweet kisses!) from this ardent enthusiast.

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Explore posts in the same categories: J-Ent: Welcome to the Freakshow, Misc, The Kimura Project

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33 Comments on “To KimuTaku on His 37th Year”

  1. raye Says:

    lol no i got dibs in the afterlife but i rather have him in this life.

    this is wonderful by the way i enjoyed reading this and the other post you wrote. thank you.

  2. poonk Says:

    Very cute and perfectly whimsical! And it reminds me, I must remember to buy a (belated) birthday cake when I go see my friend (& fellow Kimura fan)tomorrow. Her poor husband will have no clue why I’ve brought cake… *shrug*

  3. km Says:

    Amazing post E.G.
    Wish our Takuya another happy year, be as he is , that is enough for us XOXO

  4. goblin Says:

    Fangirl poetry for the win. xD

  5. Andra Says:

    This made me laugh so much! ^^ Haha I just found your blog today but I think I will be a loyal treader from now on…😀

    Happy Birthday to Kimutaku!!!!

  6. Sambalici Says:

    KimuTaku is 37? He is, ehem, old!

    Broke our little shipper hearts, your platonic situation,
    Though every now and then, we do a li’l commemoration
    Of the love you could’ve shared with a bit more… stimulation.
    (Maybe all those feelings are just… in hibernation?)

    Fangirl poetry as its best ahah.

    (nice blog E.G.)

  7. Peggy Says:

    EG.

    Made my day I really must say you have a way
    with words.

    I’ll share with you a lifetime through the love song like the birds.

    He is the one for me…the one for you… This lifetime has been blessed

    I’ll take a chance for one hot glance
    And never get depressed.

    So far away and yet today he’s just three thousand miles away.
    With Shingo in New York.

    Well I’m not brave for travel plans
    so I’ll just stay here in my cave

    And give his plane a little wave as
    he flies overhead.

    Happy Birthday Takuya kun. Still got it babe.

    Peg

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Loving this, Peg! (Nothing like KimuTaku to get our creative juices flowing, ehh?) Wave at him for me when he jets across your sky, deal? (And I hope he looks down and flashes the “Good Luck!” sign right back at ya, lol.)🙂

  8. Peggy Says:

    Think you may be right re Takuya being inspiration. I also think I am a secret rapper as those previous lines just rolled out and I did not know what was coming so I just typed. Of course you also may have been the one who stirred the poetic(?) muse

    they have already done the new Softbank CM on some red steps. I guess they are painted red altho there might be a red carpet. Wonder if they did the Locomotion again.? No-one caught them as I think it was the small hours when they filmed.
    Shingo is having great success with his musical. He really is a genius I think. So many interests and so clever.

    Ja babe.

  9. thundie Says:

    This is hysterical. I think I cracked three ribs laughing. You go, EG!

  10. Peggy Says:

    Well..it’s over. It’s all over. the roaming of the five in NYC all five
    ALIVE
    It’s over.

    I am taking to the skies
    In my Castle in the Air.
    Oh Yeah..you didn’t know I have one.
    Not as fast as Howl of course but
    sometimes gets applause
    once the cobwebs fall away
    from the broom….
    Got a camera for Kimura to take pictures as we zoom
    across the bay in Capistrano.
    ******************************

    This is catching… but not as bad in the end as ‘flu.
    Over to you……….

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Peggy, this is gold. I’m picturing you with the rapper fur coats and the rock star glasses and the platinum chain with your name in diamond studs… (Still figgering out where to put that broom in your getup, though.)🙂

  11. Peggy Says:

    Aahh..the broom
    the broom.. the dusty broom
    Hidden away so long in that room full of memories.
    those were the days
    lost in a haze
    that’s before the rapping craze
    got going
    It was always underground
    Never thought it would be found so soon and then
    where is that broom
    Time to fly out of the gloom
    So long since I last rode my broom.
    Across the sky just see me fly
    to Tokyo to find that guy
    I see ya Takuya
    don’t be afraid
    We got it made babe..got it made.

  12. Peggy Says:

    Big Bang anyone ???????

    Sorry

  13. Peggy Says:

    Don’t know the name of the rapper in BIG BANG I think he is playing a role in the drama IRIS at the moment. He is an assassin.

  14. Peggy Says:

    Rumours tht Kimura will be offered a part in a new Korean drama about WWII. So far Jang Dong gun has a lead role and it is still casting. It would be great for Kimura as this type of story would have interest for western audiences.

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Jang Dong-gun in the Normandy thing, eh? I was so hoping it would be Lee Byung-hun.😦 Hmmm… Kimura casting rumors, eh? Interesting… (And had Byung-hun been cast instead, this would be the third time the two got to work together.)

  15. Peggy Says:

    I agree that Lee Bying Hun would be my choice for this war film. I also think the good rapport beween him and Kimura would be an asset. Jang dong Goon is charming but he does not have the same powerful charisma that Lee has. He is a splendid actor however, and I can still remember much of his performance in ‘TYPHOON’
    Heartthrob Lee JungJae was also in that film.

  16. mistuki_442 Says:

    Hi E.G and all fellow Kimura-san fans.

    Wow, what a nice birthday poem/greeting for Kimura-san. You gave me a good laugh.(^_^)

  17. mitsuki_442 Says:

    Oh BTW, i enjoyed this post and i think I’ll be able to read more post about KImura Takuya from your blog so I’ll be subscribing to this blogsite. Best regards.

  18. Peggy Says:

    I have been watching all I can find of Kimura and the SMAP group when they were in NYC. I think they had a ball and they all looked so alive and happy. I really think they were like kids out of school once they were away from JE restrictions. Now Kimura is full of life and he is positively glowing. He looks Mahvellous darling. When he was flying with the Japanese Acrobatic Military pilots he was bursting with joy. This was in the SanTaku show. I have yet to see the rest of that and I am looking forward to seeing him play tennis with Sanma. I have a feeling Kimura has never done much in tennis so this should be either very good from hard practice or very funny from none at all.
    I actually saw a clip of Kimura in his spaceship drama on a Korean variety show. First time to see that. He definitely should make another film or drama with Lee Byung Hun because they go well together and raise the dust of everyday life and show us the gold that was hidden. I just love Kimura san. One of these days I am going to send him a Fax to WUS even tho I will not hear it if it is read.

    Mirror, mirror on the wall
    Who is the one to make me fall
    In love again in my dotage?
    Yes..but then –
    It’s all in the mind
    That amazing computer
    that picks up Takuya
    Oh sweet halleluya

    It’s all in the mind.

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Lol, what a charming poem, Peg! But I must take exception to “dotage.” You’re ageless, Peggy.😉

      I’ve seen some of the Big Apple clips and I’m glad the boys had a blaaaast, ‘coz they sure as heck looked like it. Awww, all those purty colors in the Softbank CM! I watched the BTS without subs, but still laughed whenever They laughed. (Man, I’m hopeless, lol.) Could only rely on context clues, but that infectious joie de vivre needed no translation.🙂 (Hahahahahha did you see them having FUN, O Great Darkling Lord Kitagawa??? While you paddled about in your murky little underground pool, cursing the light, hmm? DID YOU SEE THEM HAVING SO MUCH FUN? Hahahahaahhaah)

      My first thought while watching the Battleship Yamato teaser: what is this, sci-fi retro? The set looked like something from an old ’70s space adventure, lol. But that’s cool, these are just first impressions and they can change later on, right? Or not, lol. (And ZOMG, was that Yamazaki Tsutomu wearing white whiskers? Wooo-hooo. Now I have TWO reasons to watch this film, heh heh.)

      Haven’t seen the latest Santaku vid, though. The one linked to Kelly’s site (TK Online) was taken off by those eeevil paranoid tightwads at Fuji TV. Will have to scrounge around for another one. Bugger that!

      • Peggy Says:

        All I know about Battleship Yamoto is that it is a manga from years ago which has run endlessly. Kimura always read it and it is one of his favourites. I guess he will enjoy doing this sci-fi role a la
        Star Trek.

        It’s really all your fault..you opened the door to what passes for poetry (?) It is addictive. sorry about that but will try to restrain myself. It is not my doing and the keys do it by themselves.There is no thought going on at all. sigh.

  19. v Says:

    um.. not bad for a pseudo twelve yrs old. in fact, and not bad for anyone. can’t believe he is turning 37.. i started to know him since SMAP days. gosh.. i feel like crying and celebrating at the same time.. hihi. silly me.

  20. Peggy Says:

    Just read through this one more time. It’s got a lot of good fun and I just would wish that Kimura san could read it. He would really have a laugh or two.

    Peg

  21. vivian Says:

    Omg! Ender’s girl,
    Peggy is right.
    You DO have a way with words!!

    I read everything in your “the kimura project” laughing hard and nodding my head about 90% of the time. Loved it. ^^

    And am also very impressed by your vast knowledge of other dramas, movies and respectively large number of actors in them. Where do you find the time for all? Amazing!

    I only know one actor, TK, and still struggle with time. He’s been so active last twenty years…^^

  22. vivian Says:

    I forgot Why I started to write here:
    Can’t wait to see
    your b-day message on his 38th B-Day!!^^

  23. vivian Says:

    “Just read through this one more time. It’s got a lot of good fun and I just would wish that Kimura san could read it. He would really have a laugh or two.”

    Peggy,

    I so agree what you said up there.

    Do you read Japanese?
    Maybe you could post it to his “What’s Up SMAP” homepage…^^

    I wish he has a blog of his own for his fan to communicate with him… just like “Rensuke’s blog”
    on the Moon Lovers homepage.

    Because I so wanted to give him feedbacks for what I monitored from dramas to variety shows to concerts.
    Of course, i can’t write like EG: hilarious but logical.

    Oh~ EG would be a wonderful candidate for giving him valuable feedbacks on things like what she said about the ICWTR: No more haste decisions like that. ^^

    Don’t you think? ^^

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Lol, thanks for your (and Peggy’s) vote of confidence, but I hardly think KimuTaku would have either the time or appreciation for any feedback from his 9,283,484,343 fans (hey that’s more than the global population, lol). I mean, Kimura doesn’t even listen to Johnny-san, why would he care about what a bunch of fangirls say or do? But it’s a nice fantasy to indulge in, heehee.

      And nope, I don’t speak/read Nihonggo. I don’t think one would be able to appreciate this poem unless they knew English, anyway. The puns and rhymes (which are, like, 99% of the entertainment value, lol) would only get lost in translation, haha.😉

      Re his 38th bday — ohnoes, I don’t know if I’d be able to sustain a yearly bday poem. Maybe on his 40th, it’s more milestone-y.🙂

  24. Peggy Says:

    E.G.

    What’s with the teeth???
    The charm and mischief in Kimura’s smile seems gone.

    Don’t they all know that store bought front teeth are all the same and all phony and no good when you’ve been doing everything so right for twenty years with your own crooked teeth.???????

    Is it just for a commercial photo?? if so WHY??

    IF IT’S FOR POSTERITY THEN ALL IS LOST.

    Peggy

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Peg,

      I didn’t strike me that Kimura’s teeth are different now! When did you notice??? But then it’s not like there was anything terribly wrong with his pearlies to begin with, that he needed to do anything drastic besides the requisite Bleaching for Smokers package. Hmmm @_@


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