News Nibbly: SMAP Reach 10-M Milestone in Career Concert Attendance

Hey SMAP, You’re One in Ten Mirriyon!!!

by Ender’s Girl

It became official at their Sept. 15th concert: over the past nineteen years since their 1991 debut, the SMAP Boys II Men have entertained enough concertgoers to populate… Hungary!!! (10,013,628 inhabitants, according to the Jan. 2010 Eurocensus)

WOWOWOW! Hungary baby Hungary!!! Lol. The figures do boggle the mind, eh?

And who knows — by the time SMAP’s 2010 Japan tour wraps up on Sept. 19th at the Tokyo Dome, they may have moved up a notch to… Bolivia baby Bolivia!!! (pop. 10,031,000) hahaha

The Sept. 15th gig lasted four whole hours and included a special video montage of the band’s, um, storied — and at times, controversial — history, showing “rare footage” from their early days in the idoru business. And by “rare” I’m hoping this means “juicy and potentially damaging to a fledgling boyband but that’s all water under the bridge and besides SMAP’s way too big now to be damaged by long-forgotten evidence of their youthful tomfoolery” — like the time when Mori was still with the group and (if my memory serves me right) they got into a street fight with a bunch of dudes who heckled and called them “fruits” or something, and of course Goro didn’t join the fray right away because he was still inside their van, fixing his hair, LOL oh the irony… Er… y’know, that sort of dirt. (Dammit, I hope this video comes out in the concert DVD extras arghghgh please oh please Johnny K I’ll be good okay I promise!!! I’ll even lay off your precious pinky boys for the rest of the year okay? Deal? Deal??? Or… um, then again maybe not hahahaha)

As an extra “treat” to mark this career highlight, the Fab Five dished out a rare performance of their very first single, “Can’t Stop! Loving” (see above vid clip from 1991) — and I use “treat” very subjectively (hence the quotation marks) because if you listen to the first few bars, you’ll realize right away why the buying public avoided this early release like the plague. The first time I listened to this musically primitive track I actually felt sorry for those boys, lol. (Rather than the music I daresay it was SMAP’s TV work — variety shows and dramas — that eventually won the fans over… and the rest, well, is history. Besides, the fact that Japan has been able to stand 19 years of Nakai’s nails-across-a-chalkboard singing, only proves that SMAP’s pop ditties, though zesty and infectious, aren’t the sole determinant of the band’s mammoth success.)

But two decades and over eighty albums, singles and concert DVDs later, here they are, as Smappy as ever… and here we are, their captive audience to the bitter, cheesy end (lol). So, omedetou to my favorite Asian pop group. *flying kiss* *mwah* *mwah* *mwahhh* I Can’t Stop! Kissing!!! lololol. Dear Nakai, Kimura, Tsuyoshi, Goro and Shingo: When you fly to Shanghai for your first evah! international concert this October, try to set a higher audience target this time, ayt. Ten million? Twenty? Piffle. Dream BIG, ‘coz China is YOURS for the taking!!! All 1.3 birriyon of ‘em, hahahaha!!! Good ruck!

EDIT:

The Shanghai tour has been postponed indefinitely in light of the recent diplomatic row between China and Japan over a Chinese fishing boat captain. Concert organizers have cited security concerns as their main reason for putting the shows on hold. Tickets are to be refunded starting Sept. 25th.

And oh ehm ghee I LUUUUURRRRRVVVVE THIS PHOTO.

Oh Caption, My Caption!

SMAP (less Kimura): “Oh we’re not laughing AT you, Kimura-kun, we’re laughing NEAR you. Heh heh heh”

Kimura: “Mocking my man-boobs again, are you? Har har very funny you guys.” *roll eyes*

***
Photo credits: asiaholics.wordpress.com, morningberryz.vox.com

News source: Sanspo via TokyoHive

Video credit: OwWitch @ Youtube.com

And special thanks to Yamashita Tomohisa, whose 2010 single “One in a Mirriyon” will continue to spawn snickers, potshots, politically incorrect puns, and random spurts of laughter for years to come. Luff ya, babycakes.

Explore posts in the same categories: J-Ent: Welcome to the Freakshow

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7 Comments on “News Nibbly: SMAP Reach 10-M Milestone in Career Concert Attendance”

  1. jicks Says:

    I read this piece of news too over at tokyohive &… I don’t even think I would know how to count to ten mirriyon lol

    Thankyou for sharing that SMAPtastic vid! Es. Ehm. Eh. Be! SMUP! I’m glad they spelled their name right lol (Btw, love that flashing piano arc thing…)

    2:14, can’t tell who’s who but whoever it is in the middle trying to stand up & lift his bandmate on his shoulders LOLOLL *FAIL* >______>

    Nice caption on that last pic, too… it’s probably not far off from the truth lol Really,the image brings a smile to my face ^U^

    And yes, Pi, oh dear Pi, no matter how many mirriyon years pass by, you know all we have for you is lurve xD

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      “Es. Ehm. Eh. Be! SMUP! I’m glad they spelled their name right lol” << *pounds table hysterically* LMAOOOO😀

      @ 2:14 – I'm quite sure that was Mori!!! Poor feeble-kneed Mori… maybe that's why he quit soon after lol

      ROFL @ 2:32 when the boys do a little backward hop and Shingo slips and falls, hahahahaha

  2. zooey Says:

    Hungary, eh? Are there a lot of Japanese citizens there or are they flying the fans over? Or is this a mutation of some sort akin to the David Hasselhoff flu virus that swept Germany a decade ago?

    You know, they had a concert in New York sometime in the 90s and they were dressed up like an asian version of the NKOTB. They danced before a crowd in Central Park and took soundbites of people on the street [who looked like they were humoring them] saying stuff like, “We love SMAP!” and “Go see SMAP”, so my bet is that they’ll have Hungarians this time around saying “SMAP’s the best” or “SMAP eat world” in Hungarian. x)

    As for the video… that was indeed a horrible song, there’s even a part in it that sounded like the alphabet song and twinkle, twinkle spiced with a circular melody a la the Sound of Music’s Do-Re-Mi. Anyway, you’ll see more of their old stuff once you get your copy of their 92-95 concerts from me. Have to warn you though that they looked like they raided German Moreno’s closet in the early 90s. There’s even one outfit that looked like something out of Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation” video, and of course, another one where they had MC Hammer pants. But it looks like you’re too far gone to let trivial stuff like bad songs and crazy costumes to get in the way of your SMAP-lovin, so I’m sure you’re just the right person to have them.😛

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Lololol those merciless, hardboiled New Yorkers, making sport of our poor boys!😀

      Oi yeah, I cannot thank you enough for *ehem* donating your goodies to my dorama coffers! Can’t wait for the ’90s cons either! Hihihi.

      Ohohoho NKOTB — I know right? (Speaking of whom, I always liked that boyband. Ostensibly had a crush on Jordan Knight but was always secretly into Joe, lol) Anyway, “Rhythm Nation” + Japanese NKOTB + Kuya Germs = I’m SOLD BABY SOLD!!! hhahahaha (Although to be honest, you had me at “German Moreno” lol ^^;;)

  3. Peggy Says:

    How come I just found this place to make a comment. I have made comments everywhere else it seems. So now it’s 2013 and I am heading for the century mark in earnest. At least Kimura will be alongside. He just had his furtune told and he is going to have his most successful years between seventy and eighty he was told. Oh well still be too young for me except in the mind of course….Har di har… Love to all. Peg.


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