Tuesdays with Mori
Mori Katsuyuki’s Underground Weekly Advice Column for Disgruntled Johnnies and Ex-Johnnies
by Ender’s Girl
Below is the excerpted correspondence between professional speedway racer (and ex-SMAP member) Mori Katsuyuki, and letter-sender Akanishi Jin, formerly of the JE group KAT-TUN.
22 June 2010
I hope my letter reaches you safe and sound. I’m not sure if you know me, but my name is Akanishi Jin and I’m a Johnny. People call me “Akanishi-kun” and close friends call me “Jin-kun” or “Bakanishi.” (Except for Kamenashi, who calls me “Big Boy” when we’re alone. Or… “Nishi-poo.” But that’s just between you and me.)
I’m writing to you because I’m feeling kind of lost at the moment. Mori-san, I know all about your days with SMAP, and how you so bravely left your group so you could chase your moto racing dream and it’s like so cool that you did that. I was very young when you quit the Jimusho but I remember that it was all over the news and you’re like, my hero Mori-san! Because I’m seriously thinking of leaving my group, KAT-TUN. Like, for good? (You heard of us? We’re on TV a lot. We’re the kakkoi ones in the Jimusho. Not fluffy and boring and always smiling and la-la-la like our senpai Arashi, or NEWS (except Tomohisa, who is kakkoi and my friend). But don’t tell NEWS and Arashi I said that.)
Don’t get me wrong – I’m very grateful for my career with the Jimusho. The money ain’t much ‘coz the Old Man takes everything we earn (I’m sure you would know), but at least I get to do what I do best, which is to like, sing? (To be honest I’m the only one in my group with the vocal talent to make it worldwide — although K. will scratch my eyes out if he hears this, so shhhh!!!) But I like being famous ‘coz everyone gives me free stuff. Like, free food? And when I go into bars I can party the night away with random foreign chicks without having to pay them. So yeah, this whole fame thing is kinda cool. It’s just that sometimes… I dunno, I’ve been doing the same sh*t for nearly a decade but it’s like, I still don’t know who I really am. I need to find myself. Maybe I’ll find myself… in America!
I really need your advice on what to do. Lately it’s become unbearable with the other members. I dunno why I’ve been feeling extra pissed around them. So I give them sh*t and then they give me sh*t… okay so maybe only Koki and Kamenashi give me sh*t. Usually Ueda just goes to a corner and cries into his mirror, while Junnosuke and Nakamaru – those wusses ain’t kakkoi enough, they shoulda been with NEWS from the start – they run off to tell the Old Man that we’re fighting again. So anyway, it’s been really tense at work the past few months, which is why the Old Man sent me to America to “cool off” and do solo concerts while the guys rehearse for the World Big Tour. Their World Big Tour since I don’t think I’ll be a part of it after all. Do I still wanna dance and sing and be famous? Hellyeah, but not with KAT-TUN. Not anymore. (There, I’ve said it.)
Mori-san, I feel so lost. What should I do?
‘Coz I just wanna make it worldwide,
6 July 2010
Thank you for your touching letter. It gives me great pleasure to know that I still inspire young artists to chart their own paths and refuse to be dictated to by wrinkly old gnomes who think they rule the universe.
Yes, I know about your group KAT-TUN. I don’t really follow the gossip rags, but my old friends from the industry sometimes mention you in passing when we go out for drinks and yakiniku. I’ve heard a few of your songs on the radio while driving to and from the racetrack. Good stuff. You have a nice voice and you should keep honing your talent.
I’m honored that you look up to me as your idoru. When I left SMAP and the Jimusho in 1996, I knew it was the biggest decision of my life, but didn’t know then if the gamble would ever pay off. I just knew that moto racing was what I wanted to do more than anything. When I signed up for my first meet as a pro, I performed horribly – but I kept going and going and going, one race after another until I was winning more than losing, and I could earn enough money to get married and start a family.
My advice to you is, if you’re dead-set on leaving your group just make sure you have an equally strong desire to pursue the alternate path. If starting a career in America is really your dream, then by all means, go for it! Don’t! Stop! Believing! And… Don’t! Stop! Loving… what you do, because that my friend is the key to success. Just have the fortitude to stick by your decision, because there’ll be many miles of rough terrain ahead before the results starts to show. Don’t be discouraged if the big breaks don’t come right away. Just keep the pedal to the metal and your eyes on the track, and you’ll be fine. You may have gotten off the beaten path at the moment, but remember that all roads lead to the finish line – even detours such as these.
20 July 2010
Thanks for the awesome advice! I still have to pinch myself that you actually read my letter and answered it. Now I feel that I can tell you anything. I never really had a senpai that I got along with at the Jimusho, but I kind of wish it was you instead.
So I followed what you said and I’m staying in America, hopefully for good! (But I plan to go back home once in a while just to make sure the fans there don’t forget me. You know, do concerts and stuff?) Too bad the other members didn’t take my… resignation that well. Koki started punching the wall and cussing (in rap), Ueda went off to a corner and started crying into his mirror as usual, and Junnosuke and Nakamaru (as expected) ran off to tell the Old Man, who didn’t seem like he was surprised by my decision. I guess he saw it coming. He’s scary that way. And as for Kamenashi, well, there was a lot of screaming and kicking and throwing things… none of it coming from my end, by the way. The Old Man had to send four of his grunts to sedate Kamenashi. Wasn’t pretty. At all. Now he says he won’t speak to me like, ever.
Anyway, I’m just glad that awful stuff is past. So I’m back in America, and life in sunny California is da bomb! I’m so happy I followed your advice, Mori-san! The people here are so nice and friendly and I can eat burgers and French fries all day without K. breathing down my neck (um, literally too) and ordering me to watch my weight ‘coz the Old Man and the fans won’t like it if I get tubby again like in 2008.
I found a small apartment in downtown L.A. which I’m sharing with two other roommates: a Russian tattoo artist and an exchange student from one of those small Spanish-speaking countries. The Russian guy and I don’t talk much because he keeps to his room, but the exchange student is SO annoying. He likes to go through my stuff and “borrow” my old KAT-TUN costumes without asking – especially the ones with studs and red sequins. And he’s weird. He sleeps during the day and then leaves around 10 PM to go to school, he says. But he’s always dressed up in these really short skirts and spiky heels. And he wears a LOT of makeup. (On some days he reminds me of K.)
I’ve called up the Old Man a few times asking if I can move to a bigger place and live alone, but he won’t let me. He says the rent is very high in America and that living with roommates “builds character.”
Sometimes it gets really lonely here in America. I miss my friends, especially Tomohisa-kun. I wish he’d call me more often, but I hear he’s always out partying with that Keiko
ho chick. I miss going clubbing with him. That dude is one in a mirriyon.
Almost every night since I moved here, I’ve been getting these weird phone calls. I keep saying “moshi mosh? moshi mosh?” but all I hear is heavy breathing for a full minute before the line is disconnected. Obviously the caller thinks he’s being anonymous, but Kamenashi doesn’t know that I haven’t deleted his number from my SIM card.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I’m doing fine here in America.
‘Coz Imma make it worldwide,
p.s. There’s this creepy old man in a Hawaiian shirt that likes to stand on the curb outside my window on most nights, watching my room. I’ve never met him in my life. Do you think I should talk to him if he approaches me?
3 August 2010
My dear Jin-kun, (may I call you Jin-kun?)
I am happy to hear you are adjusting nicely in America. And don’t worry about your bandmates feeling a little sore that you’ve left the group. It’s natural for them to feel that way, especially since you’ve been together for so long. But they’ll learn to live with your absence and will do just fine without you – maybe even better. In that case, don’t begrudge them their success if they remain stronger than ever, and they’ll learn to be happy for you as well. Believe me, I should know. Bottom line is, no regrets, right?
Your roommates sound… interesting. Especially that foreign exchange student… if that’s what he says he is. Be nice, but not TOO nice or they might take advantage of you. And you don’t need to lend them your costumes if you don’t want to. Get a lock for your room if you have to — just as a precaution. The “exchange student” seems irritating but harmless, but something tells me that the Russian guy is not good company.
And why does the Old Man get to decide where you live and who you live with? If he won’t increase your rent money, I suggest you find another job without telling him. You can work as a busboy at a nearby diner – maybe just a few shifts a week, enough to help tide you over. Then try to save enough money to move out and find your own place. It’ll be better that way. Just don’t let your second job get in the way of your rehearsals and live performances.
By the way, how are your concerts doing?
p.s. I’d steer clear of the creepy ojiisan if I were you. Trust me on this.
17 August 2010
Yeah, I’ve been doing a couple of gigs here and there. Lots of Asian fans come to watch me, white people too. It’s really not that hard. You know, doing the concerts? A few songs I get to actually sing, but most of the time the deejay takes over so all I have to do is dance and clap my hands and move my mouth like I’m singing. Then I sign a few autographs and go backstage to collect my talent fee for the night, which is — get this!!! — five whole Big Mac meals, supersized with fries and Coke! I’ve never been so excited to perform, Mori-san! Because I just think of my McDonald’s waiting backstage for me, and all my tiredness goes away! But before I can leave with the food I have to stack up the chairs and mop the floor of the concert venue after the fans have left. I don’t know if it’s really part of my contract, but the organizers keep saying that it “builds character and appetite.” I don’t want to be deported (how embarrassing!) so I just follow.
Thanks for that advice on finding my own place. I’ve already saved up $ 1.40 from my weekly allowance from the Old Man. Do you think that’s enough down payment for an apartment? I still have trouble converting yen to dollars in my head. (I was never good at Math in school. I always cut class and got into fights, and my Math teacher was such an idiot. Didn’t learn us no ‘rithmetic. All she ever made us do was run after the sh*tty sunset while kicking some sh*t can through the muddy fields.) Anyway, I keep my savings in the little heart-shaped piggy bank with kiss marks all over that K. gave me for my 25th birthday.
A funny thing happened to me when I was hunting for a second job. I was about to leave the apartment to look for work at a diner downtown like you said, but my Russian roommate suddenly came out of his room and asked me where I was going. When I told him I was gonna apply as a dishwasher or a busboy, he said I could make more money if I worked for him instead. So he took me inside his room and when I asked what all the funny-looking plants were doing on his windowsill – you know, the ones that look like hands — he said they were there to keep the moths away. Then he gave me a large duffel bag filled with zebra stuffed toys and told me to take the bag to a guy named Jorge at the address written on a piece of paper. I asked my Russian roommate why some of the stuffed zebras had white powder on them but he said the powder was there to keep away the germs. He also said I would get paid when I came back after I successfully delivered the bag. I was so excited to be earning $ 20.00!!! (So much money Mori-san!)
So I took the bag and left the apartment. The creepy old man was still standing on the curb, looking at me, but I followed your advice and ignored him. When I got to the address I saw it was a nightclub and the bouncer told me to use the back door and that Jorge was waiting inside. When I entered the club I was so happy ‘coz it was just like I imagined when I wrote the song “Lovejuice.” I was finally living my dream, Mori-san! I decided that after I delivered the bag I would stay and join the action on the dance floor, but before I could find Jorge there was a loud crashing noise and then police came swarming into the club and everyone started screaming. I was so scared! So I dropped the bag and ran outside. I fell down a few times but I found a dumpster in a nearby alley and hid inside until the police sirens grew fainter and fainter. It started raining and I was cold and wet and hungry, Mori-san! But I didn’t want to leave because the police might come back. So I spent the night there in the dumpster. To be honest at that point I really felt like giving up and going back home. Then I remembered what you wrote in your letter and told myself to be strong. ‘Coz Imma make it worldwide!
Then I heard shuffling footsteps outside the dumpster. I was scared it was the cops, but when the lid opened I saw the face of that creepy ojiisan I was telling you about. He followed me all the way from my apartment! I think I screamed in fright but he said “YOU! Quiet!!!” and I was so scared I couldn’t even speak. Then the creepy ojiisan took out a calling card and let it fall to my lap. His name is Donny Shirakawa and he’s a talent manager. He asked me if I wanted to become rich and famous in America and of course I said yes! So he helped me out of the dumpster and took me to a McDonald’s where I had three whole Quarter Pounders and two milkshakes. Then he made me sign a piece of paper he was keeping inside his trench coat. (I was too tired and hungry to read it. But Donny said it was my new contract and it would help me get famous, so I signed it.) He’s creepy as hell and he always looks at me funny, but maybe he ain’t so bad after all.
Mori-san, I think me and Donny Shirakawa are gonna get along just fine! (I’ve tried calling him Donny-san or Donny-sama but he says since we’re in America, just “Donny” will do. He’s cool that way.)
‘Coz Imma make it worldwide,
31 August 2010
My dear Jin-kun,
Oh my. I’m sorry to hear about your harrowing experience. I hope you are much better now? But did I not advise you not to let your roommates use you to their advantage? Now it seems that your Russian roommate has done just that. It is a good thing that you were not caught by the police or you would have been extradited back home. Not to scare you, but we all know what happens to our countrymen who have brought disgrace upon themselves, ne?
So be extra careful around people over there. Especially that Donny Shirakawa fella. Again, you did not heed my advice to stay away from him no matter what the circumstances were. Yes, I know you were in trouble that night and needed a helping hand, but do you really think it’s a good idea to be completely indebted to someone like him? I just hope he does not make you do anything that you are not comfortable with.
What is the use of writing me for advice if you do not follow it?
Still wishing you all the best,
(Still) your friend Mori
14 September 2010
Um, no disrespect, but aren’t you overreacting a little? Maybe even more than a little. Trust me, I know what I’m doing, so chill. Donny Shirakawa has been taking very good care of me. He even helped me move out of my apartment (so good riddance to my annoying roommates!). He counted my savings in my piggy bank and said the money wasn’t enough to get me my own place, but good thing he had an extra bedroom in his townhouse so I’m staying there for now. And the best part is that I can order all the burgers and fries that I want – all on his tab! I never see him eat – actually he likes to watch me eat. But… um, I don’t mind at all ‘coz the food tastes so good!
And Donny says I don’t have to wash dishes or bus tables to earn extra money, ‘coz he can land me a lot more gigs aside from the You & Jin concerts that I’ve been doing here. He’s a talent manager, you see. The other week he asked me if I brought any of my old KAT-TUN costumes to America, and I answered that yes I had – I mean, I brought ALL of my costumes with me ‘coz I just couldn’t bear to leave them behind, you know. Then Donny told me to wear one of my outfits from Queen of Pirates, the one with the ruffled blouse and brocaded overcoat. He said it was ‘coz he just booked me a gig and I was very excited!
So I changed right away and we left his apartment and went downtown where he made me stand on a busy street corner holding up an empty tin can in one hand and a little silver bell in the other. He told me to tinkle the bell and maybe hum a few bars of our KAT-TUN songs from time to time, so that people would put money in the can. I asked Donny what it was all for and he said it was to “build character” and “for exposure” so that Americans would recognize me when I finally get to launch my own album – hopefully soon! So he left me there and came back to get me after six hours. I was a bit cold and hungry and most of the time people just stopped to stare at me, but I knew it was for my U.S. career so it was all good. I hope after this I make it in America as a big star! By the way I made $ 5.90 all in all! I turned the money over to Donny and he said he would invest it for me. Maybe next month Imma be a mirriyonaire!
Then the following day, Donny said that I was gonna make my first live appearance onstage after my You & Jin concerts. I couldn’t wait to perform onstage again so I said “hellyeah!” He told me to wear one of my baggy white shirts and jeans and my best sparkly hat, and to wear my hair down (with extra hair gloss) and put on lots of makeup – like in the “Lips” PV. Donny also made me memorize this English song that I didn’t know all that well, but I guess it was okay. I wanted to sing my original compositions like “Lovejuice” and “Christmas Morning” but Donny said it was good to mix in a few songs that Americans were already familiar with.
Then Donny took me to a hotel function room filled with people and tables and lots of waiters carrying food, and I saw a lady dressed in a white gown with a man in a tux and they were going around the tables talking to the guests. There was a band already onstage and Donny made me get up beside them and perform the song I was practicing earlier. So I took a deep breath and started singing “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” and I think I did good ‘coz the guests stopped talking and just sat there looking at me. It was a really nice song, Mori-san, and when I got to the chorus (“Do you really want to hurt me… Do you really want to make me cry…”) I got a little teary-eyed myself thinking about K. and how we went through so much together only to end up like this. (He still calls, by the way. As usual, he says nothing and just breathes into his receiver. It’s become kind of our nightly… thing while I’m here in America.)
I think I my performance was good, ‘coz right after singing “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” the guests started clapping and whistling and laughing and drinking from their wine bottles. I looked over at Donny who was standing in the wings and he made a little circular gesture with his index finger, so I started singing “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” all over again. Then I sang it again and again so I didn’t have time for my originals. After singing it for like ten times the people started throwing their wine glasses at the stage (maybe they weren’t happy with the house band’s amateur playing?) and that’s when Donny hurried over and pulled me backstage and we had to leave the hotel through the kitchen. I asked Donny about it and he said that throwing glass objects is one way that Americans show their appreciation and it means they loved my performance so it’s all good.
‘Coz Imma definitely make it worldwide!!! I can feel it in the air!!!
28 September 2010
That does it. My patience and goodwill are nearing their end. I’ve tried to help you all these months but you clearly do NOT realize how that Donny Shirakawa fella has been taking advantage of you. And the worst part about it is that you think he’s doing it for your own good. I know his type, and if you’re not careful you’ll end up just as exploited, overworked and unhappy as you were when you were still with KAT-TUN (admit it, that’s why you left).
You think you’ll become a big recording star in America that way? Think again, amigo. This is your last chance to let me help you. Then you’re on your own.
12 October 2010
Why can’t you just be happy for me? I’m doing my gigs and making money aren’t I? I said that I know what I’m doing.
I told Donny about our letters and he says you’re probably just bitter that after you left SMAP they suddenly became superstars while you struggled with your racing career. He also thinks that you secretly regret leaving the Jimusho and wish you were still an idoru like me. That’s why you’re finding it hard to accept that Imma go places with my music career – oh excuse me, I meant my INTERNATIONAL music career. It’s obviously something you know nothing of.
I kind of feel sorry for you, now that I think about it. Good thing Donny is there to guide me. I told him my head hurts when I think too much and he said I should just eat some more French fries while he does the thinking for me. I’m so glad I didn’t take your advice about him ‘coz you were SO WRONG. Actually, I don’t really need your help after all.
p.s. And for your information, Donny never runs out of gigs for me. The other night he told me to wear my costume from the “Real Face” PV and then he added a red hat, which Donny said went very well with my red vest. Then I helped him push a heavy crate from inside his bedroom down the stairs and out of his apartment building. Donny opened the side of the crate and wheeled out this weird box thingy that he called a “street organ.” Then we found a spot on the pavement and he handed me the tin can from before and told me to go around collecting money while I sang my original compositions. He was cranking the street organ the whole time and his music didn’t seem very much in harmony with my songs but the people didn’t seem to mind. Mostly they just stopped to stare at me for a few minutes and some even dropped coins into my tin can. I caught a few women shaking their heads and saying “Poor thing…” and it kind of bothered me for a second but Donny pulled me aside and said I should “make the most of people’s emotions” so if more people dropped money into the can because they felt sorry for me, then it was really a good thing. Then a few hours later an LAPD police car pulled over in front of us and the cops inside told us to “beat it.” One of them asked if I was staying in the country legally and could he take a look at my visa, and I didn’t know what that meant but when Donny told me to run I just ran and we met up later at his apartment and luckily the cops didn’t bother chasing us and I made $ 23.95 that day and Donny patted my head and said good job and I asked if I could keep the red hat and he said of course and I was very proud of myself and so yeah, FOR YOUR INFORMATION I VERY MUCH HAVE A SINGING CAREER IN AMERICA SO YOU CAN GO SUCK ON IT, MORI. *cough* Has-been! *cough*
26 October 2010
“Has-been”? “Has-been”??? For YOUR information I’m now a bemedaled professional speedway racer, BAKAnishi. I can’t believe I wasted all that scented stationery just replying to your stupid whiny letters, you ungrateful little sh*t. In fact, I can’t believe I took the TIME to even READ you stupid whiny letters. I should have known you weren’t worth it from all the rancid greasy fingerprints you left on the letter paper. (You probably can’t even walk two meters without ducking into a McDonald’s for your cholesterol-flavored French fries. Yum yum.)
You’ll never make it worldwide. NEVER. Not by the year 3010 (ha! ha! ha!), and not in a million years. Maybe it’s time you left America and hightailed it back to your out-of-tune boyfriends.
(Oh and by the way, I’ve always thought that your songs are pure sh*t.)
2 November 2010
Whatcha mean boyfriends??? What the f**k, man????? Are ya callin’ me a homo??? Koki and I ain’t homos!!!!!! Didn’t you see my AnAn special edition photo shoot??? Me and the white chick were seriously getting it ON! I’M A REAL MAN!!! I’M A REAL MAN!!!
Sh*t man, I wanna go over there and beat you up so bad people can’t tell the difference between your face and that asphalty black stuff they coat your crappy little racetrack with.
And don’t you be callin’ me “Bakanishi” no more ‘coz I changed my name to Aquaneesha. Donny suggested I go by Aquaneesha when I’m performing ‘coz it gives off a really cool soul-rapper vibe, y‘know what I’m sayin’? (Of course you don’t, ‘coz you’re OLD and UNCOOL.)
p.s. Donny says to tell you that he has… friends back home who can make sure your next race will be your last. All it takes is a little “fiddling” with your stupid bike’s spark plug or sprocket… so I’d really really watch it if I were you.
9 November 2010
Dearest Aquaneesha (and I’m so glad you changed your name to Aquaneesha because now you just gave me another reason to feel sorry for you),
Oh, so you’re threatening me now??? You’re FUNNY. Ha ha ha.
You want a piece of me, you little fairy-punk?
And I agree, we should’ve crossed paths back in the Jimusho… so I could’ve run my motorbike all over your stupid pouty face. Again and again and again.
16 November 2010
Well, you’re — you’re — you’re a has-been!!! Has-been!!! Has-been!!!
23 November 2010
You already called me that two letters ago. Poor Aquaneesha! Running out of vocabulary words, are we?
Your 34984 x more eloquent senpai,
30 November 2010
Oh, so you want more vocabulary words? You want eloquent? (What’s “eloquent” mean? Don’t use big words, smart-ass.) Never mind ‘coz I’ll give you eloquent, you […………………censored………………..]
Note: The rest of the exchange between Akanishi Jin and Mori Katsuyuki degenerates into a long volley of unprintables, and suffice it to say that their correspondence does not end on a happy note. As of press time Akanishi-san has just concluded his Yellow Gold 3010 Tour, while Mori-san continues to race professionally – albeit he now moves around with a retinue of bodyguards, which he says is “just a safety precaution.” Having put the nightmarish Jin/Aquaneesha experience behind him, Mori-san looks forward to helping other troubled young Johnnies with their life problems – preferably those of a much more agreeable disposition than his previous protégé. At the present Mori-san is, in fact, corresponding with his latest advice-seeker, a young and driven JE talent who writes his letters anonymously but always signs off with the codename “Turtle Diva.”
It goes without saying that the letters are entirely a work of fiction, I repeat wholly and 100% fiction — just in case one or two readers out there start Googling “Mori advice column + Jin” (lol). It was all done in the spirit of fun, so please don’t start pelting this blog with week-old Big Macs and fries!
The evil idea for this post had been brewing in my noggin since around the time I posted the Anatomy of a (J-Pop) Breakup graphicspam, and the To the Faithless Departed commentary back in July and August 2010, respectively. I just thought that the idea of Jinny Boy writing Mori for advice was chock-full of delicious possibilities, and therefore an opportunity that I could not find in my heart to pass up.
“Tuesdays with Mori” is obviously a pun on Mitch Albom’s inspirational best-seller “Tuesdays with Morrie” (not that I’m particularly a fan of the book, or of Albom). And if you’re familiar with the fantasy writer and theologian C.S. Lewis, you’ll recognize that this post’s epistolary style was inspired by Lewis’ classic satirical novel “The Screwtape Letters,” in which a senior demon (Uncle Screwtape) mentors a junior demon (Wormwood) on how to – literally – bedevil a newly converted Christian.
So… thanks to Mr. Albom and to Professor Lewis for the whole letter-writing idea. And of course, a mirriyon ssankyouus to Akanishi Jin, without whom there would be no such post to speak of. (May you find your Yellow pot of Gold at the end of the JE rainbow, Jinny Boy.)
About 10% of the content of Jin’s “letters” is based on news updates culled from the LiveJournal comms, Tokyograph, Tokyohive and other sources, as well as Jin’s actual interviews with UTB that aired over the past several months. The other 90% I, uh, yanked out of my wazoo. Er, brain. Er, same thing. (lol) But I must sadly disown that “Aquaneesha” bit, though. It did not I repeat did NOT come from me, my brain or my wazoo. In the Nov. 27th interview aired by UTB, Jin (or should I say, The Artist Formerly Known as Akanishi) opened up about his recent appearance on MTV Iggy (cue: cutaway shots of screaming, crying, hyperventilating fans). He then proceeded to talk about his… onstage alter-ego, Aquaneesha (I kid you not), who takes over Jinny’s body whenever he performs before a live audience. See excerpted transcript below:
UTB: “After you get on the stage, you’re awesome!”
The Artist Formerly Known as Akanishi: “That’s not me. My switch is on. I call him Aquaneesha, the switched-on version of myself… I’m Akanishi, that guy’s Aquaneesha.”
*respectful moment of silence*
– Ender’s Girl
Photo credits: ageofmmorpg.ru, asiapacificarts.usc,edu, happyfacesrock @ LiveJournal, jpn13sub @ WordPress, prweb.com, pornvilai @ LiveJournal, purpleskymagazine.com, thegrandline.com
See it to believe!!! Above transcript taken from Jin’s 11/27/2010 interview, YouTube link found here.
J-Ent: Welcome to the Freakshow
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