E.G.’s Horrible Sing-Along Blog

The J-Ent X’mas Jingle 2010!

(aka Jingle Bells, Johnny Smells)

by Ender’s Girl

Some bloggers do a year-end review of the drama and entertainment scene.

I’ve got this. My Rhyming Recap of 2010.

Jingle bells, the ratings fell
YamaNade laid an egg
Code Blue ruled, the fangirls drooled
When YamaPi played dead


Jingle bells, sequels sell
(Just ask Hotaru)
‘Twas Buchou vs. Osamu
That split Japan in two


Jingle bells, love hotels
Scandals did abound
Eita wed, Ebizo bled
And Oguri screwed around


Jingle bells, cute guys sell
Uno Fog Bar was the rage
The London ads were the best they’ve had
Plus, Miura came of age


Jingle bells, KimuTaku fell
Splat right on his face
Tsuki no Koi no one did enjoy
So the Captain left for space


Jingle bells, JE sells
Arashi came on top
But gimme those 5 chaps from SMAP
Over rainbow-loving fops


Jingle bells, shounen sells
HeySayJumpies grew ‘nuther head
AutoTune’s more bane than boon
And Johnny’s still undead


Jingle bells, fanservice sells
Vampire Kame shocked
When Jin went West, KAT-TUN’s big test
Was to keep their fangirl bloc


Jingle bells, what’s left to tell
Hiro wrote a book
And Kpop-tarts overran Japan
With their overpackaged looks


Jingle bells, we bid farewell
To 2010 that was
What strange things will next year bring?
Let’s see what Johnny does!


Let’s see what Johnny does!


Photo credits: aramatheydidn’t @ LiveJournal, coolfwdclip.blogspot.com, DramaWiki, hotakky.com, nuralisya.wordpress.com, tokyohive.com

Song inspired by the classic children’s Christmas parody of “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells”

Explore posts in the same categories: J-Ent: Welcome to the Freakshow, Miscellaneous

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17 Comments on “E.G.’s Horrible Sing-Along Blog”

  1. doozy Says:

    Oh my goodness! You are so goofy! ahhahah
    You even color-coordinated the letters to match Christmas colors!

    I actually did sing along in my head to your lyrics. It was hard to keep a straight face though. Some of the jokes I got, some I didn’t coz I’m not that up-to-date on the J-ent realm of things, but I enjoyed them all. Your rhymes are hilarious and witty, as usual.
    My fave is the Uno Fog Bar one. ahahhah!

    Happy Christmas and New Year, E.G.! πŸ™‚

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Hahaha, thanks! Whoopsie, I forgot that some jokes would feel esoteric to some readers. Did you mean this?

      “Eita wed, Ebizo bled / And Oguri screwed around” πŸ™‚

      (Eita and actress Kimura Kaela had a shotgun wedding this year, and she gave birth in October. Ichikawa Ebizo (crown prince of Japan’s premiere Kabuki clan; the baddie in Mr Brain) figured in a drunken altercation at some tony bar and landed in the hospital with a smashed-in face. Oguri Shun got caught last month with his pants down leaving a love hotel — aka Quickieland — with some hoochie model. Which wouldn’t have been a big deal if Shun weren’t in a serious, about-to-be-engaged relationship with actress Yamada Yu, tsk tsk.)

      Anyway. So Uno Fog Bar was your fave? I knew it! *punches air*

      And a Merry Christmas & New Year to you, too, doozy! πŸ˜‰

      (Here’s an early present-o for you: a lifetime supply of ommurice slathered in demiglace sauce. No, better yet: Tsumabuki Satoshi slathered in demiglace sauce, lol)

      • doozy Says:

        yummy… nom nom nom on the present (the ommurice, that is!) ahahhahahahah *shifty eyes*

        Thanks, E.G.!

        Re: Shun
        That’s bad. Real bad. Reminds me of that one song by Shaggy, eons ago.

        • Ender's Girl Says:

          Hehehehe happy nomnom-ing, girl! πŸ˜€ (But why do I get the feeling you’ll bypass the ommurice and go straight for the… uh, main course ehehehe :-P)

          Shun + Shaggy = Shuggy? aiieeeee!!!! *groans* Now I won’t be able to view Shun’s photo without seeing this monstrous speech bubble beside his head saying, “It wasn’t me…. It wasn’t me…” @__@

  2. jicks Says:

    I love mah rainbow-loving fops! lol They always keep me in a happy place, a place where I can go gaga over Fog Bar boys & accept wooden dolls as one of us ^O^;

    lmfao @ your “love hotel” paragraph *sheds tear* Couple THAT with his more recent acting jobs, Shun really did SCREW up this year didn’t he lololol I guess 2011 can only get better for the man.

    This limerick has definitely made my day! Like doozy, I was totally auto-tuning singing along xDD Hilarious stuff, girl (as usual!)

    Here’s to a Jingling Christmas & a Snazzy New Year! (With lots & lots of JE goodness that doesn’t make us regurgitate afterwards xDD)

    P.S. I want to see Eita & Kimura Kaela’s baby! The child is going to be so super quirky cool, I’m thinking darling lil Shiloh’s title as The Uber-cool Celebrity Child will be given a run for her, ah, multi-national currency lol

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      “a place where I can … accept wooden dolls as one of us ^O^;” << LMFAOOOOO oh PiPi!!! *cries; loves on Pi*

      Hahaha that "love hotel" stanza was a shoutout just fer you, baby! Glad you likesss it πŸ˜€ (Um, have you seen Surely Someday? Has it even been subbed? lulz)

      Oooh, no piccies of the baby yet? (What do fans call it? Eila? Kaeta? lulz) “Uber-cool Celebrity Child” << Totally! πŸ˜€ (Shiloh PWNS Suri!!! hah hah hah)

      “Jingling Christmas & a Snazzy New Year!” << Hahaha I love this! Wishing the same for you and yours!!! πŸ™‚

      • jicks Says:

        oooh I like Eila, it sounds like a real name! lol And although I like Shiloh better, you gotta feel for lil Suri- the poor thing is like a human dress-up doll.

        Re Surely Someday, haven’t bothered to even try searching for it yet- it’s in my queue of things to watch, it’s just a bit down the list that’s all hahaha The shagging “rumours” + each of the last project of Shun’s I’ve watched have definitely contributed to the film’s lessening appeal… but I will get to it surely someday lol

  3. wolforion20 Says:

    Totally awesome year-end review in rhyme. I chuckled over this post like crazy. Had to admit, loved the joy you expressed when you said Miura came of age. Nice job & great recap in silly rhyme.

    Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      W00t, thank you thank you! πŸ˜€ If the post managed to generate a few more chuckles over the Yule season that’s all I could really ask for. πŸ˜‰

      Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too, wolforion! *hugs*

  4. ockoala Says:

    Happy Holidays, EG! Been giggling over your holiday posts this week, but haven’t had a chance to comment til now. See, I just saw a giant billboard of SMAP shilling for Soft Bank outside my window, as I am in Tokyo right now. Thinking of you, and hoping if I ever run into Kame, KimuTaku, or Yamapi, I have the guts to ask them for a picture with me.

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      kowaaalaaaaabear! I knew you were spending the hols in Japan but didn’t know if you’d be able to blog from there. (Aren’t the websites all in Kanji or something? lol) So how’s Fair Nihon? How many Johnnies (or at least, Johnny-types hehe) have you spied on the streets of Tokyo? Are you gonna blog about your Japan trip? πŸ˜€

      Thanks for the wonderful Smaptastic/JE thoughts you’ve been sending my way! (So that’s why the past few nights I’ve been getting these strange dreams about Kimura, Kame and Pi… and me. Lulz)

      Have a blast in Japan, and also wishing Happy Holidays to you and yours! *hugs* πŸ˜€

      • ockoala Says:

        I’m baaaaack! And other than SMAP on billboard and other wall art sightings, my trip was low on the star meter but high on the chill meter. I spent most of my time in Hokkaido, where my chances are higher I’d run into a bear than a Johnny.

        Only spent 2 days in TK, sadly, but next time I’m going alone to really look for my boy Yamapi. πŸ˜€ Happy New Year, my dear!!!

        Oh, and a present. I LOVE THIS CM, it’s all over the airwaves in fair Nippon.

        Don’t know if you’ve seen it yet.

        • Ender's Girl Says:

          Okaeriiii!!! *presents tofu cake with a flourish* (no, scratch that, lol) πŸ˜€ Happy new year ockoala!!!

          Thank you for the awesome clip! It was hard to top SMAP’s 2009 Softbank CM but this new one surpassed all my expectations. I loved it to bits and laughed like crazy every second. It was nice to see them chaps just acting all fun and silly, as if they didn’t need to prove their kakkoiness anymore. πŸ™‚

          Maybe if PiPi does a U.S. solo tour (like his mate JinJin) you’ll finally get to see him in the (wiry) flesh πŸ˜›

  5. Jenny Says:

    standing ovation here.
    Hopefully your Christmas is going well.
    The rhimes are so cool, I especially loved;
    Jingle bells, love hotels
    Scandals did abound
    Eita wed, Ebizo bled
    And Oguri screwed around


    Jingle bells, cute guys sell
    Uno Fog Bar was the rage
    The London ads were the best they’ve had
    Plus, Miura came of age

    The Ebizo scandal though is amusing, it’s just unbeliavable what information has been popping up. Well I know he’ll get away with everything because he is the golden boy of kabuki and the heir to the Ichikawa Danjuri name. Now all Mao needs to do is pop out some babies.

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Sankyou Jenny! Hahaha, glad you liked the jingle. The “love hotels” stanza was also jicks’ fave, while doozy liked the “Uno Fog Bar” stanza, too. Nice to know they gave readers a few guffaws. (My personal fave would be Vampire Kame + Jin going West. :-))

      Re Ebizo, I know right? I think the craziest angle I’ve read on the LiveJournal comms was that Ebizo beat up YamaPi and Johnny sent the mob after him in retaliation. LMFAO.

      “Now all Mao needs to do is pop out some babies.” << ROFL! Hear, hear!!! πŸ˜€

  6. mil. Says:

    But gimme those 5 chaps from SMAP
    Over rainbow-loving fops

    *sudden flash at 3x speed of all the outfits arashi wore in their PVs*

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Arashi? Who said anything about Arashi? *blinks innocently*

      Believe it or not but your laugh reverberated all the way to my side of the world. Thanks for not being a hard sell! Heehee πŸ˜€

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