To Kamenashi on His 24th Year

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I hate your stupid girly brows,
and the way you style your hair.
I hate your reconstructed face,
and your fake come-hither stare.
I hate your reedy, off-key voice.
I hate your filthy mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you dance onstage,
so sissified and soft.
I hate it when you dress in drag,
even worse when you strip it off.
I hate the fact that you’re not even cute.
And I hate how you’re not that tall.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you.
Not even close,
not even a little bit,
not even at all.

***
Poem template taken from 10 Things I Hate About You (Touchstone Pictures, 1999)

Photo credit: asianbeam.com

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33 Comments on “To Kamenashi on His 24th Year”

  1. tgbgbt Says:

    Hi! I’ve been a silent lurker for some time (:

    This is just awesome!! I LOVE that movie, and I always thought Kame was soooo unattractive and useless looking, but I ended up squealing over him in Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge. You express this perfectly!

    btw your blog is awesome too (:

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Wot’s this??? A lurker? Didn’t know I had those, lol. But thanks for the encouragement!πŸ˜€

      LOL @ “useless looking” hahaha! I have yet to see an episode of YamaNade, so I dunno about the squealing (yet). X__O

      Oh, I loved 10 Things… too! Hollywood doesn’t make teen rom-coms like it used to… *sigh*😦

  2. leng/yaney Says:

    wow! that was a nice poem

    by the way do you really hate kame? hahaha. i also hate his brows..too feminine looking, he isn’t even a JRock artist

  3. leng/yaney Says:

    and oh, did he have a plastic surgery? i dont have any idea about that *scratches head*

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Well, I think the poem says it all, doncha think?πŸ˜‰ But no, I don’t hate him in the “the world will be a better place without you” kind of way. Kame isn’t Tegoshi Yuya. >D

      Re the plastic surgery, it’s pretty obvious from his childhood photos that he had some work done–if not a lot.

  4. Jenny Says:

    Very nice poem!
    Kame at least has grown on me, yeah he is not as good looking as let’s say Akanishi(or nicknamed STD boy) but he seems like a nice guy.
    I loved 10 things (poor Heath) I still have it somwhere on my dvd shelf.

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Jin = “STD boy”??? LMAO! Never heard that one before.πŸ˜„

      I don’t think Kame grew on me slowly. My affection for the boy kind of just… sprouted overnight, like… a bad rash.πŸ˜€

      Yeah, that was one heckuva breakout performance from Heath Ledger, ne? 10 Things… definitely makes the Top 10 teen rom-coms of the ’90s (and I must have seen ALL of them, lol).

      • Jenny Says:

        Yeah, I read an article about Jin spreading STD’a, apparently a woman he hooked up with is claiming that he gave her a disease : http://community.livejournal.com/aramatheydidnt/557010.html

        I miss Heath, too bad he had to leave us. I had a huge crush on him after 10 things.

        • Ender's Girl Says:

          Thanks for the link.πŸ™‚ The article was actually kinda funny.πŸ˜€ Well, rumors are rumors, so we’ll never know the truth of it unless the girl can furnish some damning evidence. I wouldn’t put it past him, though. >D

          • maAkusutipen Says:

            But that is odd? I mean I know of a Johhny rule that any Johhny is forbidden to cavort with girls…. IN ANY MOMENT.. nyahahah.. well that is what they say… That is why those in the jimusho does not have girl friends..
            exception to this rule are the older generations like the ones from V-6, SMAP and Tokio.

  5. jicks Says:

    OMG 10 Things was the first movie ever to make my DVD collection way back in the day. Freaking classic.

    Heath Ledger, RIP❀

    Re Kame- I can't believe he's 24, growing up in front of our own eyes! Your poem cracks me up, I think my favourite line would be… well, all of it ^O^ And thankyou, I learned a new word today: "sissified" xDD

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Heath was so hot in 10 Things…. =D Gosh how long has it been since he passed? A little over two years, right? I wonder if Matilda still remembers her daddy.😦

      Lol, we sound like a couple of onee-sans talking about Little Kame All Grown Up. You’d be the nice, sisterly one, and I guess that would make me the… pervy one, hahaha.

      (Oh, and “sissified” was a new word for me, too.πŸ˜€ Chanced upon it while composing the poem. Ah, my trusty ol’ desktop dictionary/thesaurus, can’t write a single sentence without it, lol.)

      • jicks Says:

        Well I gotta maintain some chastity at least around one Johnny boy or another.

        Actually, I think what you feel for Kame is what I feel for his good mate, fellow KAT-TUN pretty boy, Akanishi Jin.

        I wish I didn’t but for some reason, I can not help but gravitate towards that manwhore.

        P.S. I want to see chibi Kame!!!!!! lol

        • Ender's Girl Says:

          Ha! I just knew you had to be pervy over one of them! Well well well, so it’s Jinny-jin-jin, is it? HweheheπŸ˜„ (My safe bet would’ve been anyone from Arashi, but I dunno, perving on someone like Nino just feels… wrong, ne? Lol)

          “I wish I didn’t but for some reason, I can not help but gravitate towards that manwhore.” – Hahahaha! Mebbe it’s those pursing lips! (Oh then I’m sure you snuck a peek at his AnAn photoshoot? >D)

          Chibi Kame – I’m telling ya, there’s NO WAY I’m inflicting his kiddie photos on you guys, no way! It ain’t happening! Ok here are just a few linkies, heh heh heh…

          Chibi Kame Pic 1
          Chibi Kame Picspam 2 (actually it’s Chibi KAT-TUN)
          Chibi Kame Picspam 3 (scroll down a little, you’ll see Chibi Kame in a tub with Chibi Ryo, plus Chibi Akame, plus Chibi EveryoneElse)

          DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU!!!!!!!!!!

          • jicks Says:

            No!!! My eyes!! My eyes O_____o!!!

            lol Thanks for the links :))

            I would say Kame has def had double eyelid surgery (or whatever the heck they call it…) The nose? I choose not to believe ^^;;

            Did I see Jin’s infamous AnAn pornophotoshoot?? Aah, hell YEA-AH (!) I couldn’t close my jaw for weeks. Not sure how I feel about it though… one moment I think it’s semi-hot, next moment I think it’s totally low. One thing’s for sure though, it most definitely doesn’t beat Kimura’s shoot from 1997 (’96? I don’t remember exactly) xDD

            BTW, you would’ve won your bet. MatsuJun is my #1 perve target. And I’m comfortable admitting to him!! (lol @Nino comment) Jin however, is the one I don’t like openly confessing to as it makes me feel kinda… dirty lol

          • Ender's Girl Says:

            @ jicks – What is it about those KAT-TUN dudes that makes liking them feel durrrty? X___X

            Oh, Kame had the works, I’m sure. He probably went up to Johnny’s resident plastic surgeon and said, “I’ll have the Bishounen Special, please.” >D And I’m sure it wasn’t a one-shot thing, if you observe his “transition” from kiddie to Junior to present-day Kame 2.0? 3.0? 4.0? lol. I think his latest “job” was having stuff injected in his cheeks in 2008. Watching Kami no Shizuku I was like, WTF? His face had lost so much character. I liked him best when he was nice and bony in NwP and Tatta Hitotsu no Koi.

            Re JinJin on AnAn – The shot I liked best was of him out on the grass shirtless, swigging from a bottle of vodka?gin?jin? (lol). Really niiice.πŸ˜€ It was the only photo that didn’t scream “PRON desu!!!” (mebbe it was because there WAS NO GIRL???!?! lol). I can’t remember the other photos, but the one involving some chin-biting was sooo LMFAO for me. I actually felt sorry for both him and the girl, lol. (Remember So Ji-sub’s infamous Brown Bunny-esque photoshoot a few years back? Why do I have the feeling Jin would like that sorta thing? X___O) Oh, Jin. At least you showed your body, and proved there’s something under that sullen heap of matted hair and hobo clothing sitting on one end of the stage during KT concerts, hah hah hah.

            Kimura’s AnAn (it probably was in ’97, because he was wearing the same godawful pornstash he had in that useless Love Generation “SP”, and that was in ’97): Oooh, hot.πŸ˜„ I didn’t like the simulated BJ pic (the scene composition was all wrong, and the girl just looked so awkward), but for the most part, yeah, pretty hot.πŸ˜„ Of all the Johnnies, Kimura looked like both he and the model were having the most fun doing… well, whatever it is that they were doing. Unlike poor li’l YamaPi, who had the deadest face in his AnAn shoot. And the clincher was the shower shot = LMFAO x 984,430,303!!!

            Oh, since you mentioned MatsuJun, his AnAn spread has to be my fave. Liked the clean white sheets and the interplay of light on their skin. The model was real pretty, too. The whole thing didn’t feel sleazy at all.πŸ˜‰ Sexy, yeah, but classy.

  6. yui7 Says:

    Hey, can I link you on my blog roll? Saw your comments BTW.

    You’ve watched a lot of J-Dramas. I think I would like to visit your blog often. ^_^

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Link away! =D You didn’t really have to ask, but you’re more than welcome.πŸ˜€

      It’s only been a year since I discovered Jdoramas, so I’m trying to make up for lost time. I’m usually a season (or two) behind as I wait for all the subs to be done. Same goes with Kdramas. (Currently watching Ninkyo Helper for the second time, which I’m alternating with Return of Iljimae.)πŸ™‚

  7. leng/yaney Says:

    hi endersgirl!

    haven’t seen any kame pics when he was younger. i do not dig infos about him that much…lol!

    but i might do that later… as i am curios to what he used to looked like beforeπŸ™‚

  8. jicks Says:

    lol “the Bishounen Special”

    Don’t get me wrong, I like KAT-TUN. Alot. They interest me much more than NEWS. As a unit, they don’t make me feel dirty at all. It’s really only Jin. And when I said dirty, I meant it more in a… Xtina Aguilera radio edit / probably not a good idea kinda way ^^;; My fascination w/ him… it’s more a case of I feel like I shouldn’t like him because of all his rumoured off-screen bad-boy antics (& I’m not the bad-boy type of girl ><") but I still do. I still love listening to his gritty voice, I love watching him jam on his guitar, I love keeping up w/ his fedora obsession (seriously, show me our right eye already boy.)

    Though I guess out of all the JE groups, I see KAT-TUN w/ the most potential to be rebels & associate them more w/ sizzling danger (I'm pretty sure I can blame the LIPS PV for this)

    P.S. I liked Jun's AnAn spread too. By far the most delicate.

    P.P.S Have you ever hoped for Kame to take a crack at the shoot..?

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Kame + AnAn? Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!! A big part of me is kind of glad that Kame hasn’t done a racy photo shoot, because I think he knows and Johnny knows and everyone else knows that it won’t come off as very… convincing. >D I mean, after all the cross-dressing and pole-dancing and whatnot that he’s built his fandom on? Ah don’t thunk so. And he’d probably just end up wanting to be the girl in the shoot, as usual… *roll eyes*

      I dunno, but the whole “KT = rebelzzz!!!” shtick never worked for me. I know they’re being marketed as the hip, edgy, envelope-pushing rocker Johnnies (like you said, Exhibit A = LIPS PV), but the harder they try to project that image, the more they come across as a bunch of kiddie poseurs who like to dress in red and black and do gross things to each other. X_____O (LOL @ Jin’s “right eye” comment btw!)

  9. maAkusutipen Says:

    I will just repeat what was said by the other commenters..

    I really liked 10 things I hate about you…

    As for Kame…

    I feel indifferent.. (well im a guy XD) His acting really needs some work and why oh why is he given singing roles..

    (Well the same goes for any Johhny except the old guys from Tokio… XD)

    But bridging from the Yamapi posts…

    Compared to the two Yamapi stands out more…

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      Teh Kame-YamaPi Smackdown:

      Looks: Pi, by a landslide.πŸ˜€
      Acting: Kame, by a landslide. With the right projects (=> NOT Kami no Shizuku) Kame can make a very convincing romantic lead (=> Tatta Hitotsu no Koi).
      Singing: It’s a toss-up ‘coz both guys suck at it! X__O
      Semblance of Normalcy: Pi, by a landslide. Normal (rumored) girlfriend his own age (=> Keiko), doesn’t paint his face and wear black nail polish, etc. etc.

      Re Johnny’s No Girlfriend Policy: I think it just means you can’t date anyone openly. Johnny can’t stop his Johnnies from having flings or liaisons (or even long-term cohabitation relationships, like some of the older guys), so long as it’s all kept under wraps.πŸ™‚

      • jicks Says:

        ^^Which is why Kimura’s whole marriage thing remains such a puzzling phenomenon to me… like how he can get away w/ it & still maintain such dominance & popularity for all these freaking years <33

        Re Kame-YamaPi Smackdown-
        I totally agree w/ your category breakdowns! But I'd like to comment, face-wise, yes Pi is gorgeous (duh) but I think Kame's face is much more interesting to look at in the long run.

        • Ender's Girl Says:

          Yeah, didn’t the entire J-Ent industry think that Kimura’s marriage spelled the end of SMAP back in 2000?πŸ˜€ I guess you gotta have some real talent to win back all those disillusioned fangirls.πŸ˜„ The younger Johnnies will have a harder time should they choose to follow Kimura’s precedent, though. I personally wouldn’t care if they stayed single or got hitched. If I can live with Kimura being married, I can definitely live with any other Johnny being married. X__x

          ZOMG yeah I think I agree with you on Kame’s face. Maybe ‘coz his look is so… unnatural? Borderline grotesque? Hahaha. Well whatever, but he does have that spark in his expression that Pi just doesn’t have.πŸ˜€ I wish the Blue Fairy would take pity on Pi so he can finally tell everyone, “I’m a real boyyyy!!!” lol >D

  10. kazukajin Says:

    Surgery?

    I don’t think so…
    Don’t use his early childhood pic (that u don’t exactly know that’s his real or retouched photo) to judge him like that.

    If he did it, the question is when?
    13-14 years old?
    and who did pay money for him to do that?
    his parent or Johnnysan?πŸ˜„

    no idea about the surgery…

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      I think I’ll just let the photos speak for themselves.πŸ˜€ And I didn’t just base my observation on Kame’s childhood pics, but on those of him as a teenage Junior.

      “If he did it, the question is when?
      13-14 years old?”
      => Probably when he was a little older and his features were fully formed, but I’m sure it was before Gokusen 2 in ’05. He was what — 19 back then. If you notice, in G2 his eyes were a little bigger, his nose a little finer compared to how he looked as a Junior.

      “and who did pay money for him to do that?
      his parent or Johnnysan? XD”
      => Not sure. They’d obviously deny it anyway. Maybe both?πŸ˜„

      Well that’s just my 2 cents, anyway. Anyone’s free to disagree.πŸ˜‰

  11. v Says:

    OMG!!! i cant believe how well you summed up all that i felt for kamenashi!!! i mean, i like him.. and i dont know why! when i actually dislike so many things about him.. mystery that remains unsolve with all JE things related. btw, can’t believe you only just started j-stuff in 2009. i mean i started more than a decade ago and it looks like you’re almost caught up. congrats!

    • Ender's Girl Says:

      hahaha, i think this ranks up there with the loch ness monster and the JFK assassination and other unexplained mysteries. i guess we’ll never completely understand why we like kame… we just do. (rats!)

      with the j-stuff, i feel like i’m a kid in a johnny’s store… er, i meant candy store.πŸ˜€ i do try to make up for lost time but the more actors i come to know and whose dramas i want to complete, the more i realize it’s a wide, wide j-world out there…

      • v Says:

        haha… i get that feeling too.. and yeah, j-world is really really wide.. altho for the dramas, there is less ep than k-dramas or tw/c-dramas, there is a whole lot out there. i have probably more than 1500 GB worth of stuff solely related to JE, not counting other je stuff. i think i’m crazy. actually, i stopped JE stuff once. i went on my computer and erased around 200 GB stuff related to entertainment and simply stopped. and when i had to catch up, phew… there was so much! my hope is that one day, i would get rid of this crazy addiction for good. altho i can’t imagine missing kimutaku! aishiteru.. lol. guess i’m not cured yet.

        • Ender's Girl Says:

          ZOMG 1500 GB??? I have no words…πŸ˜€ (Are they all in your hard drive? Don’t you transfer the files to discs?)

          Well, fangirling Kimura is an affliction (an epidemic!!!! a pandemic!!!) I don’t ever want to be cured of, either!πŸ™‚

          • v Says:

            well, it’s just and estimate but actually, i’m pretty sure it’s more than 1500 GB… and no, it’s not on my hardrive, i burn them on DVDs (4gb each) and I have at least close to 1000 dvds now so when I subtract what i think is not JE related, i think it’s around 1500GB of JE. not that I actually have time to go back and watch stuff cuz there’s always new stuff coming out. lol. I used to be crazy and get every single clip possible, from cf, to cons, to shows, to dramas, and also pics and stuff. even if there was several versions of one clip, i would get them all. and I would save every single avatar made until my fingers would hurt. (till this day, I have …wait, im looking… 267 491 JE related avatars..).. I stopped being that crazy obsessed and am now more selective. thank god! but yeah, that’s what happens when you’re crazy.


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